<p>很多同學在進行素材撰寫的時候會發(fā)現：「我」沒有案例上那種吸睛的國際大賽經歷，也沒有高含金的產出或研究項目；有的只是平平無奇的課設或畢設，好一點的會被評為優(yōu)秀論文，差一點的也就僅限于完成而已；參加的實習也只是負責一些基礎工作，接觸不到行業(yè)的核心，「我」又怎么能寫出深刻的行業(yè)洞察和發(fā)展前景？而他們不知道的是：<strong>平平無奇未必會遜色于新奇的經歷，只要角度把握精準，clich&eacute;的素材也能俘獲招生官的心哦。</strong></p> <p><br />之所以會覺得素材老套是因為大多學生的描述和感悟都是人云亦云，沒有真正融入自己的思考。所以，要想讓clich&eacute;變novelty，關鍵在于走腦的操作+走心的感悟。這樣，才能讓招生官相信，你有能力且有內涵。</p> <p><br />今天<strong>#心動的文書#</strong>欄目，將與大家探尋如何另辟蹊徑，將平平無奇的經歷妙筆生花，呈現出一份高含金量的personal statement。</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><span class="h1">方法一：化「泛」為「具」，申請動機更明確</span></p> <p><br /><strong>Before</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>I grew up in a family of merchants, and this environment has instilled in me a strong interest in marketing. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【家庭影響：家人從商】</span>I believe that good marketing can create greater value for businesses and drive industry development. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【專業(yè)認知：營銷為企業(yè)創(chuàng)造價值】</span>In recent years, the Hanfu industry has been thriving, and Chinese-style products have gradually gained recognition. As a cultural inheritor, I think that a good product can only form a virtuous cycle if it is sold. Therefore, marketing and cross-cultural research are essential to promote the development of this industry... This gave me a new perspective on the inheritance and revival of traditional culture. I feel that it is a great pity if national culture cannot be well inherited. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【營銷作用：能傳播傳統文化，推動國貨走出去】</span>As a result, I decided to start my own business in the future or work for a culture-related company. To achieve this dream, I chose to study international business at the Sino-foreign cooperative Nottingham University in Ningbo, and learned Japanese to experience Japanese culture and learn from their ways of inheritance and management.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【本科背景：學習國際商務，日本文化和繼承管理方式】</span> Now, as I am about to graduate, I hope to have the opportunity to deeply study marketing and acquire more marketing knowledge, in order to make a greater contribution to cultural inheritance and development<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【做出成績：致力于文化傳承與發(fā)揚】</span>.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>After</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Since junior high school, I have swooned over Hanfu culture. I am familiar with its history, design and development status and always hope to convey its charm to more people. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【深受漢服文化影響】</span>When serving as the Minister of Chinese Culture Community at the University of Nottingham Ningbo China, I was committed to cultural publicity from etiquette demonstrations that present the coming-of-age ceremony for men of Han nationality to historical stage plays that immerse audiences in the rich tapestry of China's past... Through my efforts, I have successfully organized Hanfu fashion shows and curated workshops that showcase the beauty of traditional Chinese attire and accessories. Utilizing social media platforms, I have attracted a wide and diverse audience, captivating them with Hanfu culture, including makeup styles from different dynasties and the art of creating intricate sachets and necklaces adorned with precious gems.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【大學期間致力于多樣的文化傳播科普活動：漢族成人禮，中國歷史舞臺劇，漢服科普，歷代妝容飾品等，并成功獲得了大批量的受眾追捧】</span> All these successful experiences have made me aware of the important role that marketing plays in promoting the development of the cultural and creative industry. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【意識到營銷在文創(chuàng)產業(yè)的發(fā)展中起的重要作用】</span>Being an ambitious girl who wants to bring prosperity to the culture industry, I recognize the necessity to learn advanced marketing theories<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【希望讓文化產業(yè)更加繁榮】</span>. As such, I am determined to pursue a Master's degree in marketing that can help me achieve my goals. I am confident that I can play a significant role in advancing the cultural and creative industries, bringing the beauty and complexity of Chinese culture to a global audience <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【聯系職業(yè)規(guī)劃】</span>.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Analysis</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>原文的興趣起源涉及的點其實很多，但是講的很泛也沒有「我」切實相關的事例；<strong>一是整體邏輯線不夠清晰。</strong>既想體現「我」受家庭因素培養(yǎng)出的商業(yè)素養(yǎng)和對營銷的行業(yè)認知與運用，又要把營銷和「我」對文化產業(yè)的繼承與發(fā)展結合來說明未來的職業(yè)走向，<strong>二是沒什么新意。</strong>這是因為常規(guī)的申請要素過多，各要素之間的聯系又不緊密且沒有詳細闡述，導致了這樣形同流水賬一般的議論。</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>因此，修改后的PS是刪去了行業(yè)分析和家庭相關的內容，而是<strong>從學生的經歷中挖掘出「文化產業(yè)營銷」這個點</strong>，先是講清楚「我」對中國傳統文化的熱愛是我在大學期間開展多元文化營銷活動的一個刺激點，然后圍繞「文化營銷」細致展開「我」如何運用媒介策劃營銷，并收到了良好的營銷效果--受眾對文化的認知和熱愛提高，由此生發(fā)為文化產業(yè)貢獻的職業(yè)理想以及要實現這一理想還需做的努力。這樣層層遞進，以時間線串聯，不僅佐證了「我」與傳統文化的淵源由來之深，還以具體事例如舉辦成人禮儀式、對歷史妝容，褙子，香囊，瓔珞制作等的精講來直接烘托「我」利用營銷宣揚傳統文化的技巧，一步步點出營銷是助力文化產業(yè)興旺的重要工具，也就自然過渡到學習營銷就是「我」實現未來目標邁出的關鍵一步。<strong>這樣在前面把整體的基調和行業(yè)聯系明確好，后面的經歷選取和闡釋擇校原因的針對性就會更強。</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><span class="h1">方法二：由「小」見「大」，小事也顯大技能</span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Before</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>I interned at McKinsey from March to June 2022 as a data analytics intern.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【實習崗位：數據分析師】</span> The company provides various services related to university professional development, teaching quality and improvement analysis, enrollment evaluation, graduate training quality evaluation, and student growth evaluation.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【公司的服務范疇：為高校提供專業(yè)建設咨詢、教學質量與改進分析、生源與招生評價、畢業(yè)生培養(yǎng)質量評價、學生成長評價等】</span> My responsibilities included data analysis and report writing using Python and Excel. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【職責：數據分析和報告撰寫】</span>Despite feeling pressure to quickly learn the necessary tools and methods, I completed my tasks within a week and learned to believe in myself and do things carefully. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【亮點一：快速學習能力】</span>Under the guidance of my mentor, I became more proficient in data visualization and familiarized myself with the application of Python and Excel, report writing, and making presentations.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【亮點二：熟練運用Python, Excel和數據可視化】</span> I also gained an understanding of the workflow and main tasks of data analysis work, <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【了解數據分析主體流程】</span>and believe that I will continue to improve my skills in future studies and work.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>After</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Encouraged by my growth in the China Undergraduate Mathematical Contest in Modeling (CUMCM), I secured a coveted position as a data analyst at MyCOS in 2022. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【解釋開始這段實習的背景：在中國數模大賽上培養(yǎng)了很輕的數據分析能力】</span>My primary responsibilities involved meticulously cleaning and processing data, alongside compiling comprehensive reports for the company's diverse range of analytical services in conformity with universities' teaching and enrollment. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【簡述職責的同時把公司的服務內容也化用在內】</span>Despite the demanding nature of my role, I quickly acclimated myself to the multifaceted operations within a week. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【優(yōu)勢一：多領域任務處理能力】</span>Throughout my internship, I gained insights into how to effectively visualize complex data sets using advanced computer software.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【優(yōu)勢二：對復雜數據集高效率地可視化】</span> With a sharper analytical perspective, coupled with proficiency in Python and Excel, I have expanded my horizons and deepened my understanding of the role of a data analyst.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【優(yōu)勢三：對數據分析這一崗位的洞察加深】</span> I am committed to relentlessly pursuing breakthroughs in this dynamic and exciting field.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Analysis</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>原文就是中規(guī)中矩的按照中文提綱把實習崗位和地點、公司的服務介紹、「我」的基本工作和成長依次寫好，沒有「硬傷」卻存在一些「軟肋」：首先是開頭，很明顯可以單獨成段的一節(jié)內容，<strong>和上下文沒有一條聯系緊密的線索</strong>；其次是對公司的介紹，雖然是為了方便招生官了解該公司的性質，<strong>但是沒有很好的和自己的數據分析師這一崗位結合，存在的意義就被削弱了</strong>；第三是在證明「我」運用分析軟件處理數據時提到了「導師指導」，<strong>這樣會讓「我」的自主數據分析能力大打折扣；最后就是和「我」未來的規(guī)劃轉的有點生硬</strong>。</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>修改后的PS是把缺乏聯系的各個環(huán)節(jié)進行了優(yōu)化。首先結合上一段的數模競賽「我」也是負責數據分析，而且在這過程中能力提升，所以「我」有信心擔任數據分析師這一崗位--將上下文做一個<strong>邏輯過渡</strong>；其次對「我」負責的基礎工作進行了放大--是對公司涵蓋的各項高校教育教學相關的數據進行清洗、分析、可視化并產出報告，<strong>巧妙的把公司的工作重點和「我」所負責的結合，避免了各點之間的割裂</strong>。第三，「我」在處理數據過程中體現的能力和優(yōu)勢也直接放大，概括成「我」的多任務處理能力和軟件操作能力；最后，<strong>基于之前放大版的能力，引申出「我」對行業(yè)的認知加深才比較合理</strong>，也由此堅定「我」對未來在數據分析崗位上做出新突破的信念。通過這樣的「放大」處理，事與事之間的合理性加強，「我」的數據處理能力在實際環(huán)境中的運用也顯得更有說服力，更生動。</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><span class="h1">方法三：知「微」見「著」，宏觀能力更匹配</span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Before</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>In my third year of university, I took a course on sensors which included both experiments and independent design projects.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【項目內容：傳感器實驗和獨立傳感器設計項目】 </span>The experiments were conducted at night, lasting around four hours each, and required precise data collection and processing. Despite the exhaustion and the possibility of errors, I never thought of giving up, believing that persistence would eventually pay off. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【實驗的現實困難：晚上實驗且耗時過長】</span>During one experiment, I discovered a large discrepancy between the calculated and actual fitting lines, and found the cause to be an inappropriate gain adjustment in the differential amplifier. I improved the setup and obtained precise results. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【實驗一：找到了導致計算擬合線與實際之間差異的原因&mdash;差動放大器的增益調節(jié)不合適】</span>In another experiment, many of my peers encountered issues with the speedometer, but I managed to find a working one, and received praise from the teacher during the final presentation. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【實驗二：換用轉速臺實現良好的呈現效果】</span>For my independent design project, I had to measure the diameter of a stepped shaft using a non-contact method, with a resolution of 2&mu;m. After careful consideration, I opted for a fiber optic displacement sensor and received a good grade for my design. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【自主設計：選用光纖位移傳感器實現高分辨率的非接觸式測量階梯軸直徑】</span>This practical experience enhanced my proficiency in applying professional knowledge to real-world problems and taught me the importance of paying attention to details.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>After</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>During my junior year, I undertook a challenging case study that entailed conducting and recording data from 20 experiments.<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【點出項目主題：實驗并記錄20次實驗數據】 </span>To ensure success, I devised a comprehensive organizational plan that prioritized my daytime studies while also accounting for nighttime experimentation and potential emergencies. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【項目之前：進行細致的實驗規(guī)劃，合理安排時間并預測可能的突發(fā)情況】</span>My meticulous planning paid off in spades, as I was able to fine-tune trial details such as adjusting the differential amplifier and maximizing efficacy through the use of an optical fiber displacement sensor. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【操作過程：有效調試實驗細節(jié)比如調整差動放大器和改用光纖位移傳感器】</span>My ability to anticipate potential issues and proactively problem-solve resulted in minimal losses and optimal results. <span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【成果顯著：損失最低且結果最優(yōu)】</span>I firmly believe that my potential in scheduling and proactive problem-solving skills will prove invaluable in analyzing complex logistics systems and making preparations for logistics problems in advance<span style="background-color: #faf49b;">【能力反思：統籌規(guī)劃和解決問題的能力對于分析復雜的供應鏈系統有很大的助益】</span>.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>Analysis</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>原文是一篇嚴格意義上來說更適合電氣工程類的課設經歷，整體上沒有特別顯著的和物流管理相關的點可以用。<strong>如果單純的照搬不僅不能添彩，反而會削弱「我」的競爭優(yōu)勢。</strong>過程中的波折也體現的不深，雖然有反思，<strong>卻因為偏離項目要求的技能而讓整段經歷顯得拉垮。</strong></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>修改后的PS之所以保留這段經歷，<strong>一是基于「我」目前只有一個供應鏈相關的實習，為了不讓PS經歷顯得過于單薄；二是因為換個思路，其實這段經歷也可以變得相關且出彩。</strong>修改后的PS沒有從傳感器設計的角度入手，而是抓住了「20次實驗」和「成果顯著」這兩個點，分別切入「我」如何對整體的項目流程進行設計安排，如何優(yōu)化過程中出現的問題，這樣來靠「統籌規(guī)劃」和「解決問題降低損失」，而<strong>這兩個點就和工業(yè)物流系統設計的目的掛上鉤了</strong>；同時，「我」在實驗中對放大器和傳感器的處理也能體現「工程」相關的素養(yǎng)。所以，這段經歷雖然也比較常規(guī)，沒有特別的亮點，<strong>但是從「細枝末節(jié)」入手，可以提取「宏觀適配」的技能</strong>，而且這些能力也是「我」之后實驗順利實現最低損失的保證，這一點也是物流系統希望能實現的，這樣再往物流行業(yè)上引申會顯得更水到渠成。</p>